Baby Mirrors

The logical solution is a baby mirror.  But, before you run out and buy one, heed this word of advice.  DO NOT buy a baby mirror that attaches to your rearview mirror.  Why?  Because it won’t work.  That’s right, it won’t work.  Baby mirrors that are made to attach to your rear view mirror are all made based on the assumption that your car’s rearview mirror is the same as they were in 1950.  Take a look at your rear view mirror.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.

What did you notice?  Map lights?  Wires?  Attached differently than other rearview mirrors you’ve seen before?  Thicker? Thinner?  Exactly!

We bought two or three of these baby mirrors and none of them would fit any car we own, or any car anybody we know owns.  That is because they are designed to strap around the mirror or use some form of gravity pressure to hold them on.  But, that only works if the mirror is “standard” which just about no mirror in any car built since 1995 is.

The solutions?  A mirror that clips to your visor.  Not only will you get more control over how it adjusts, it will actually fit.  I prefer the simply clothespin style clip, but there are others as well.  As an added bonus, you can get two if you want to let your passenger see the baby too, perfect for when Mom rides shotgun.

I find that it works best when I clip it to the passenger visor and angle it from there.  Viola!  Baby view, nice and easy, no car crashes!

So, this kind, yes:

This kind, no:

If you’ve got a rear facing carseat, then you need a second mirror to put behind the baby.  Basically, you are bouncing the mirroring twice.  You look in your rear facing mirror to see a front facing mirror that reflects your baby.  For this mirror you will have to experiment.  We got an Eddie Bauer one that strapped around the headrest.  This worked like a champ in my car (big thick headrest) not so much in my wife’s car (thinner headrest).  Feel free to go MacGuyver on this mirror because that might be what it takes to make it work.

Double bonus:  Point out your baby in the mirror when they are in their car seat.  It won’t be long before you hear "Da da" and look up to see your baby pointing at the mirror.

Tip:  Even if you have some sort of baby mirror built into your car (my Honda CRV does), you might want to look at another one anyway.  The baby is really small in my built-in one (it shows the whole back seat is why).  In my stand alone one, I can see the expression on her face!  Love it!

I was recently asked what advice I would give first to a new dad.  I didn’t hesitate. 

When you are calm, be calm.

When you are not worried, don’t be worried.

There will be plenty of times when you are not calm and when you are very worried.  Don’t try and add any more.

As fathers we instinctively wonder whether or not the mothers are better.  After all, it has only been in the last handful of decades that society has come around to the idea that men can be good parents, just like women can be good employees.  But, that kind of programming doesn’t undo itself overnight.

Sure, everyone says the right things, but somewhere inside, we wonder if there isn’t at least some truth to it.  Are our wives the better parents, especially with newborn babies?

The answer is irrelevant (though the answer is no, some men are better, some women are better, and mostly, both parents are just as good).  What is relevant is to not give into the temptation to follow along with the mother because you are unsure of your current status as a parent.  The mom will freak out about different things than the dad.  This isn’t a men and women issue, this is a two different people issue.  Some people think tattoos are disgusting, and others love them.  Some people can’t stand the sight of blood, and other people wonder what the big deal is.  Some moms freak out over every baby spit-up (That one smelled like bile) some dads don’t.  Some dads freak out over every red mark (Is that a spider bite?) while some moms don’t.

The point is that there will be plenty of things (very soon) that will worry you, so don’t TRY and worry about something that doesn’t worry you.  It doesn’t mean that you care less, or that you don’t love the little one as much.  It means that what is happening doesn’t seem like a big deal.  Do talk to your partner and tell them why you aren’t worried and see why they are, because these things tend to blow up especially if there is some lack of sleep coupled with some stress going on.

In short, do what you are supposed to do.  Put them on their back to sleep, feed them every 2 hours, and change their diapers regularly.  That will just about do it.  You can worry about spider bites in the morning.  Is is enough to fumigate her room, or should I do the whole house?

100% Pure Apple Juice

Let’s start at the beginning.  You want 100% apple juice.  Not apple juice drink, not apple juice beverage, 100% apple juice only.  Juice manufacturers are sneaky and are constantly trying to fool parents (and others) into thinking that they are getting good high quality juice when they are not.  So, the only way to be sure is to check the ingredients list.  It should say Apple Juice, and nothing else.  If it says grape juice, or sugar, or heaven forbid, high fructose corn syrup, put it back on the shelf and buy something else, no matter what the price difference is.  Otherwise, you are buying apple flavored sugar water, and the only thing that does is start your baby on the road to fatty town.

Once you have the right juice (remember Apple Juice as the only ingredient), you are ready to implement the Apple Juice Contingency.  The apple juice contingency works by using apple juice to provide a sweet and pleasant flavor for your baby in a way that does no harm to them.  In the oatmeal example above, the apple juice gives the oatmeal a sweet flavor without using sugar.  As for getting baby to drink, apple juice is a desired drink for most young ones.  Worried about giving them too much juice?  No problem.  Dilute the apple juice.  A 50/50 apple juice water mix will still be just fine for most young ones.  Many will be happy with even weaker blends.  30/70 isn’t uncommon to be fully accepted as “juice”.  The good news is that your toddler is getting plenty of water along with that juice, and at that rate of consumption you have nothing to worry about calories and sugar wise as long as we aren’t talking about 8 cups a day.

The only caution required is getting your son or daughter used to drinking only juice.  You know they are getting plenty of water, but they don’t.  You don’t want them getting it in their minds that they only like juice, so be sure to offer plenty of milk and water as well.  In fact, insist that they drink milk and water on a regular basis.

Other Juices

This technique can be used with other juices, but apple juice is what is considered a “clear liquid".  In other words, there isn’t really anything in apple juice to interfere with absorption of other food stuffs, and it won’t really fill up your baby making them full instead of eating.  You know this from your own experience.  If you just came in from a long bike ride on a hot day and there was no water only apple juice or orange juice, which would you choose to help your thirst?  The apple juice because it is lighter and closer to water.  Same thing for baby.

Actually, you should probably get used to never microwaving food in plastic at all.  Apparently, microwaves release potentially toxic and cancer causing chemicals from ALL plastic, but just in amounts that are deemed “too small” to worry about.  That doesn’t make me feel all warm and fuzzy, I don’t know about you.  It isn’t that much trouble to transfer stuff to a glass or ceramic bowl or plate before throwing it in the microwave.

Anyway, I started doing the same type thing with my daughter when she was still too young to talk.  “Monkey down!” when her stuffed monkey fell.  By doing that, it made dropping things a game.  (You must be very careful to never do this at the table, or food will be dropped constantly.)  It is always good to come up with ways to let your children know that sometimes things just happen, and there is no need to worry or get upset by them.

It turns out, that this has actually become helpful to me.  The other day, her shoe worked off her foot while we were in the store.  I didn’t notice, and I would have eventually lost that shoe or had to go back through the whole store to find it.  Instead, I heard my daughter say, “Shoe down!” (She matches the rhythm and pitch of the way my wife and I say it, it is soooo cute.)  I turned to look, and sure enough, there was her shoe on the floor.  Now, there are two of us looking after our stuff, and one of us isn’t even old enough to use a complete sentence.  Not bad.

Do It Yourself Ball Pool

It’s really simple to build a ball pool yourself.  In fact, after reading that sentence, I’m sure you already have a pretty good idea of where this is going.

First, get a cheap inflatable kiddie pool.  You want inflatable because your kids will jump and spin and fall around in the balls and you don’t want them hitting a hard plastic wall when they do.  You want it to be small unless you are only going to set it up outside.  Round objects take up way more space than you think they might, so keep it little or it will fill the whole room.  Here is one: Bubble Spray Pool, 58" x 13"

Next, you need the balls.  You don’t want to go too small or they’ll be hard to move around in and it will take too many to fill the pool.  You don’t want them too big or it won’t have that “swimming” affect that makes it so fun.  Something in the neighborhood of 3” is about right.  They’ve got these on Amazon: 100 pcs Fun Ballz

If you want to get it even cheaper, start watching the big department stores.  They are getting ready to start dumping their summer stuff so they can get out their fall stuff, and when they do, the discount.  Pick up a dirt cheap pool and dirt cheap balls, and the new ball pit is all ready.  As an added bonus, you can do other things with the pool and the balls.  Just use your imagination; or sit back and watch to see what your kids end up doing with them.  They might surprise you.

Still, if there is a way to make your child’s needs a little cheaper along the way, then do it!  One way to save a little dough is with rechargeable batteries.  As an added bonus, it can also save you some tears. 

Depending on your philosophy, you kids may have dozens (or more) of toys that use batteries.  Everything from the cute puppy that barks when squeezed to the train that drives itself across the floor singing (What color animals do you see?  The monkey’s brown, and the crocodile’s green) takes batteries. The worst part is that your little one has no concept of batteries and can only wonder what the problem is as those batteries wind down and die.  With rechargeable batteries, you can keep reusing them instead of constantly throwing them away and hoping you have new ones.

Smart Rechargeable Battery Strategy

Yes, rechargeable batteries are more expensive, so you want to buy them on sale.  I’ve found that the drugstores Wallgreens and Rite Aid seem to put rechargeable batteries on sale pretty often, and usually for good prices.  Watch your ads for sales and when they pop up, buy what you need plus a few more.  Most toddler toys take AA batteries.  The bigger ones will take C and D batteries.

As a way to save even more, get a hold of the plastic adapters that turn AA batteries into C and D batteries.  These save you money in three ways.  First, if you try and have four spare batteries in each size, that’s 4 AAA, 4 AA, 4 C, and 4 D or 12 total extra batteries to have laying around.  With the adapters, you can cut that to just eight (4 AAA and 4 AA).  The second way it saves you money is by not getting screwed over by the battery companies.  And the third way it saves you money is by not needing a recharger that handles C and D batteries.

Rechargeable D Batteries are a SCAM!

In a shameful and very deceptive marketing strategy, the major battery companies (yes both of them) cheat customers by pretending that the rechargeable D batteries are just as powerful as the non-rechargeable D batteries, but they aren’t.  Battery power is measured in mAh.  That stands for milli-amp hours, but don’t worry about that.  A rechargeable AA battery has 2500 mAh.  The rechargeable D battery?  2500 mAh.  What?

Yep, it is a big fat scam.  This way when your rechargeable D batteries die fast, you will say, that rechargeables don’t last as long and go back to buying non-rechargeable batteries so that the battery company can keep making a profit off of you.  If you use rechargeable batteries then you don’t have to buy them so often and their profits go down.

In fact, if you cut open a rechargeable D battery, you will find a rechargeable AA battery inside a container, just like your adapter.  So, do not pay more for those rechargeable D batteries.  Get the adapters instead.

Now, when you hear a toy running down or it just dies, pop in your ready to go rechargeables and put the ones you took out on the charger. Then you’ll be ready for the next time little Bobby’s favorite toy, “Sound funny.”

Undefeated Daddy Loves the Library

I took my daughter to the library in order to give her a new place to see and do things.  As a work from home father, my daughter doesn’t go to daycare or see a nanny.  So, in order to keep it fresh we frequently go places.  One day I decided I would take her to the library, because she loves her books.

I was surprised at what the library had become.  Tight budgets in our town have caused some cuts in the library system, but instead of cutting back on things like books, they cut back hours.  Our libraries are closed one day per week, but not all libraries on the same day.  So, in theory, there is always a library open nearby, if not the closest one.

The first library we went to was the main branch.  I figured it would be the best.  I remembered the library, like a lot of others in their 30s and 40s, from the days of high school.  I remember beige metal shelves, threadbare carpet, and dusty old books published at least 10 years ago.  I was in for a surprise.

The library has a HUGE children’s area.  As a double bonus, that means that there aren’t any adults around to look peevish if my little one decides to squeal with excitement or voice a little frustration.  The main library has a couple of children’s tables, games, puzzles, stuffed animals, and computers.  Even better, it has rows and rows of books for my toddler to run up and down.  There is an enormous amount of safety relief in watching your daughter run down a corridor.  There is no way for her to veer dangerously off course, and if anyone is coming the other direction, you can see them far in advance.

The Toddler and Books

As an added bonus, my daughter associates the library with fun.  Our smaller neighborhood library has a table with those beads on wires that form a maze.  When I say the word “library” my daughter says, “beads.”  If we are going to a different branch, I just tell her what is there.  Another common visit has shelf full of teddy bears.  “No, not beads, the other one.”  She pauses for a second and says, “bears.” 

Everyone wants their kids to read.  Making the environment of books fun is the first step.  Mission accomplished there. The next step is to actually get interesting books. This is where the library shines. Any child gets bored of the same thing again and again.  On the other hand, every child also develops favorites.  My girl had plenty of books she loved and of course I got her more books that were similar and she loved them. One day at the library we came across a book with flaps that open. I showed her a flap and she sat mesmerized for the rest of the time opening the flaps.  Needless to say, I found a few more.  Now, I know she likes books with flaps.   (But not pop-up books – I don’t think it registers enough that opening the page makes something happen.  I think she just thinks the pages are always like that.)

The library is great for me too.  Gone are the days of 5 or 10 year old books.  New editions of computer books for Dreamweaver CS3 line the shelves; same thing for Ruby on Rails and others.  The really great part is that the card catalog is online so I can look in advance and know exactly where I’m going so as to not spend too much time boring my daughter before we go to the kid’s section.  Even better, books can be reserved online and you tell them which branch you want to pick them up at and they’ll be waiting for you at the desk.

Do yourself a favor and check out your local library.  It just might be a cool FREE place to take your youngster.

Dad Makes Treats

Children associate certain actions from their parents.  Sometimes, they expect some things more from Mom, and some things more from Dad.  Since you don’t want to be the guy who never provides new treats, you need to be able to make something yummy to eat.

At the same time, you aren’t looking to spend hours in the kitchen and even the “simple” things that pop into mind like apple pie, or cake, or fudge take forever to make.  You need something fast and simple.  For that, it is time to reach back into your childhood and remember Rice Krispie Treats.

Almost everybody likes Rice Krispie Treats.  Granted, not everyone will say that the “love” them, but there are very few people out there who say they actively don’t like them.  When you find someone who says that, show up with some at a 3:00pm meeting and see if they refuse to have one.  Chances are they don’t dislike them as much as they say.

How to Make Rice Krispie Treats

One of the great things about making Rice Krispie Treats is that you always have the recipe.  Assuming you are smart enough to remember to breathe in and out on a regular basis, you should probably have no trouble remembering the main ingredient in Rice Krispie Treats is Rice Krispies.  Either you have some in your pantry or you don’t.  If you don’t, a run to the store is in order.  Either way, the recipe is on the side of the box.  It couldn’t be any easier than that.

Except, there is one big thing to remember.  That recipe on the side of the box is a big fat fraud.  You see, somewhere along the line, a Kelloggs executive who ate a lot of paint chips as a kid, sat out in the sun too long, inhaled the paint fumes in his freshly painted office, and then hit his head on the corner of the coffee table.  At that moment, he had an idea.  A spectacularly stupid idea even for someone who had just been through all of that.

The REAL RICE KRISPIES TREATS recipe calls for one whole stick of butter.  The one on the side of the box calls for something like 3 tablespoons.  Why?  Well, if you remember the moron from above, he decided that they could market Rice Krispie Treats as a "low-fat" snack.  Now, if you are laughing or scoffing, then congratulations you officially have at least two brain cells.  Of course, a whole stick of butter has a lot of fat in it, so you have to cut it back to even pretend that Rice Krispie Treats are low fat.  So, they lied, and changed the recipe on the box.  The result?  Hard, crumbly, terrible, blocks of junk that neither you, your kids, or their friends will want to eat.  You’ll laugh out loud when you read on the box that they can only be stored in an airtight container for two days.  They are worthless as soon as they cool.

Now, if you actually follow common sense ("Hello?  A recipe that calls for 40 marshmallows will never ever never be considered healthy!") and use a whole stick of butter you will get delicious soft Rice Krispie treats that will keep just fine under saran wrap for a week or so.  That is, if your family can lay off them for that long.

Otherwise, it is super easy.  Melt one WHOLE STICK of butter.  Add one bag of marshmallows and stir while they melt.  Then, turn off heat, and add six cups of Rice Krispies.  That’s it.  (Oh yeah, spread them out in a pan before they cool.  Don’t bother with wax paper or greasing your hand.  Use a plastic cooking spoon.  Some will stick, but not enough to be a problem.  I be the sticking issue is worse if you use the artificially low amount of butter.)

So, next time you head down the cereal aisle and see that box, grab it.  The regular sized small one has enough to make two batches.  Check the box for the recipe and get the rest of the ingredients.  Then, pick the day you want to be a hero and use 15 minutes to make it happen.

No one defeats your daddy!

No Parabens

Still, there is a difference between doing right by your child and getting suckered into every crazy tree-hugger scare out there.  Just because something isn’t organically harvested by virgin butterflies with specially coated wings doesn’t make it a bad thing.  On the other hand, there are plenty of products out there using sweet innocent sounding names that are no different than the 3 for 99 cents bottles lower on the shelf.  It’s kind of like those “microbrews” that are made by Coors and Budweiser.  Yeah, those are delicately hand crafted in multi-million barrel quantities.  As if.

Turns out there is an easy way to separate your cut-rate garden variety giant manufacturer running the cheapest combination of chemicals they can find down the conveyor belt, and thoughtfully formulated products that are gentle for your sensitive baby.  If it has parabens, it is the junky mass market mix.  If not, then it is likely good.

Basically, parabens are chemicals which extend the shelf-life of a product by keeping down the bacteria count.  Sounds ok, right?  Except we aren’t talking about normal shelf-life here, we are talking about FIVE YEARS!  You want five year old shampoo?  Me neither.  I certainly don’t want to put it on my daughter.  There’s more.  Ask anyone, anywhere, who is concerned about people’s long-term health AND who is not bound by structure of having undeniable proof before they are supposed to give you an opinion and they will tell you that parabens are cancer causing chemicals.  The key here is that there are a whole group of people out there who are not allowed to tell you what they know unless they have rock solid data to back it up.  In this case, that means collecting years of data for thousands of people and then showing that the people who use products with parabens have higher cancer rates than those that don’t.  That kind of thing just doesn’t happen over a weekend.

Here is the data you need to know.  Parabens have been found in cancer tumors.  Parabens are also scientifically proven to be estrogenic.  Estrogenic means that they increase one of the mechanisms that cause cancer.  Technically, this doesn’t add up to proof.  One more fact should make this obvious to anyone who has two brain cells to rub together and doesn’t work for the cosmetics industry or politicians who get big money from the same people (I’m looking at you FDA).  Parabens are not produced in the body, nor found in nature.

Allow me to connect the dots.  Your body doesn’t not make parabens and there are no parabens on anything you eat or breathe.  So, there is only one way they get into your body, and that is from the products you buy and put on your skin where the parabens get absorbed.  From there we know that parabens are in cancer tumors.  Ever hear of Vitamin C being found in cancer tumors?  I didn’t think so.  Technically it is possible that the parabens are just randomly somehow innocently in cancer tumors.  I guess you have to decide who’s being naive.

Cancer or No Cancer, The Good Stuff Is Paraben Free

Actually, it doesn’t matter.  Whether parabens are dangerous or not is moot.  Parabens is the cheap way to make something.  It is your proof that the company just went with the big tank of “this usually works” instead of putting some effort into it.  This is true for adult and baby products, but especially for baby products where there is A LOT of concern about a baby’s sensitive skin.  When designing a product for a baby you should be thinking, “What can we possibly leave out to make this product even safer and better?”  If you are asking that question, you are leaving out parabens.

Now, you can sort out those products.  If it is called Super Caring Mom Formula and it has propylparaben and mehtylparaben, then you know that it is actually Super Non-Caring Company Hoping to Make a Buck With a Good Name. 

How to Spot Parabens

The good news is that it is easy to spot parabens.  Turn the bottle around and read the ingredients.  They are listed under “Inactive” or “Other” ingredients if the product has active ingredients.  They will have a chemistry word in front of the word paraben.  Common ones include: propylparaben and methylparaben, but it really doesn’t matter – anythingparapen is garbage.  Find something else.

You don’t have to shell out big money for better products.  Sometimes just changing formulas or regular brands is enough.  Maybe Johnson & Johnson is chock full of parabens, but Dove isn’t, or whatever.  If you do need to go to special brands, try the Vitamin Cottage if you have one.  They seem to be a pretty decent deal for stuff like this.