As a concerned parent, it is comforting to be able to occasionally take a look at what is "normal" or "average" when it comes to child development, even if the experts think that parents are better off not being concerned about what normal is. However, wanting to know what is best for our children is the most important parenting skill there is.

Truthfully, the experts do have a point. Obsessing about what is normal or average or "right" when it comes to baby development or toddler development isn’t always a good thing. Every child is different, and every baby is different in how fast they grow and put on weight, just as every toddler is different when it comes to how fast they walk or run, or even how big they are. However, withholding information from concerned parents is never a good idea. When people lack the information they want, they tend to infer their own data, and when it is worried parents we are talking about, we tend to assume the worst. It certainly wouldn’t send most parents into a frightful state of paranoia if we got a good look at the official height-weight charts for toddlers and the official height and weight charts for babies.

Unfortunately, the Internet doesn’t offer too much help for a curious parent who wonders if their 3-year old is taller than average, shorter than average, or bigger than average overall. Too many search engine results point to preachy articles about obesity in young children and toddlers. Most parents can eyeball their toddler or small child and have a gut feel about whether or not they are starting to get "big boned." But, for parents wondering if little Sally is shorter than other 4-year olds, or if it just so happens that her handful of friend are all just taller than average, such articles are no help.

Trying to limit a search to reputable sources only makes it worse, because these are the doctors, counselors, and other experts who like to hold that information about whether or not a kid is average weight or average height close to their vest. Instead, they hand out patronizing answers like, "perfectly normal" and then tell us "I wouldn’t worry about it." Like that helps.

So, it was with some excitement that I found the official U.S. government height and weight charts. These are the height-weight percentile charts with the graphs of curving lines that show exactly where your child falls with regard to how tall or short they are relative to their peers in the United States. The reason they are so hard to find is that they aren’t called what you think they are. They aren’t listed on a government webpage under height-and-weight charts or height-weight graphs, but are rather listed as Clinical Growth Charts, and they are on the CDC (Center for Disease Control) website of all places.

Is My Baby Tall Short or Average? Is My Toddler Taller or Shorter than Average?

Of course, there is, in fact, no reason to lose even one second of sleep over the fact that a toddler or baby is shorter or taller than average. The growth rates change dramatically, and a kid who is tall today can end up average or short tomorrow. However, more facts and truthful parenting information is always a good thing to have. If nothing else, it can get you to stop worrying, especially if it turns out your little one is just a tiny bit taller or shorter than average.

Ironically, at these younger ages, the percentiles for height and weight exaggerate the actual differences between the size of toddlers. That is because when dealing with a 36" inch tall child, a full 10% difference in height is just three and a half inches. As relative percentiles to their peers, the numbers are even smaller.

For example, in 2-year old boys, the difference between 50th percentile, and 95th percentile is just 2 inches. In other words, the difference between perfectly average and taller than 95% of all little boys who are two, is just a two tiny little inches. That leaves a lot of room in between for everyone who is "a little taller" than average.

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Just a quick micro-update.

Was thinking about ways being a father is different from how things are before you have any kids. I had a pretty good  list when I heard an nondescript noise from upstairs, and I realized, that one of the many changes in your life when you become a father is that those little I’m sure it was probably nothing sounds that you used to ignore quickly become, What was that? sounds that you need to check out right aways.

Just a lonely blurb for the afternoon…

Before you have kids, you think you know what some of the best moments of having children are. Ironically, most of the moments that come to mind aren’t necessarily the one that really make being a parent such a wonderful thing.

While things like baby’s first words, baby’s first steps, and all the other baby firsts, are indeed amazing, thrilling moments for any parent, it is the other tiny moments that really are the best things about being a dad.  I’m talking about those dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of little things between you and your child that are special not because they are huge milestones, but because they are those wonderful little moments filled with wonder, awe, love, or amazement. These are the moments that make having a great baby journal so important.

Recently, I posted about how cargo shorts (or cargo pants) are essential dad gear because of their ability to carry all manner of “little things” required for those events that might not necessitate a whole diaper bag, but that definitely require certain supplies for maximum success and enjoyment.  In the comments Alicia mentioned that another value of cargo shorts was their ability to handle the “rock and stick collection.” I burst into a wide grin and nearly laughed out loud.  I thought we were the only ones!

A quick check with other parents who are friends of ours confirmed that the walking toddler’s rock and stick collection is actually very common.  Those of you who are already dads might be smiling with recognition right now. For those of you whose children are not yet walking (or walking outside, that is) or for those of you dads to be, let me explain.

Once a toddler can walk on their own, they will eventually begin walking outside. This often involves going for walks because they are good walking practice on a different type of surface, great for getting fresh air and sunshine, and because they can help tire out an energy-packed toddler.  On these walks, toddlers will be discovering new things that had previously been either unseen, or out of reach as they were carried, or pushed about in a stroller. One of these many fascinating new discoveries will be rocks, and another will be sticks.

After spending plenty of time responding with “no” to the kid’s desire to pick up many other less savory objects, most dads are plenty glad to let Junior pick up a rock or a stick that he finds laying on the ground. After retrieving their prize, the child will want to keep it, and again, seeing no harm, many parents will say, “Sure.”  Upon arriving at home, the child will want to keep it, and this is where the average Mom and Dad have to draw the line, in order to avoid both spreading dirt around the house and finding a dirty rock at 3:00 AM in the toddler’s sheets which they rolled onto while sleeping and woke up upset.

As a compromise, Dad or Mom will offer to keep the rock or stick in a special place. Though the toddler will likely never come back to that particular rock or stick, they will undoubtedly find others just as meaningful and necessary to both carry and keep as the first one.

Sentimental parents will find a certain number of them endearing and keep them as a memento of their child’s wide-eyed innocence and amazement as they discovered the world on those first walking adventures.  Then, the rock-stick collection becomes something even more meaningful that it was originally.  Ours is on the mantel in a vase that once held just one or two sticks and a half-dozen rocks.  Today, it is a virtual bouquet of sticks and filled half-way up with rocks.

Do you or your child have a rock and stick collection?  Where do you keep it?

What little things come to your mind when you think about the greatest moments of being a parent so far?

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I went out and registered my children’s domain names to reserve their future website address for them, just in case they end up needing it.  Each child got firstlast.com although the older one had to get her first name nickname because her full name was already taken.

Registering a child’s domain name probably makes a little bit of sense.  It is reasonable to assume that dot com domain names will remain the standard for the foreseeable future. Yes, it is possible that there will be a wholesale change in the way domain names are registered and allocated someday in the future, but it won’t be soon, and it won’t be easy.

Too many people and too many companies have spent too much money building their little web empires under the current system for domain name registration or domain use to be changed swiftly or easily.

The interesting new frontier is in the realm of domain names that include the top level domain, or TLD, as part of the word.  Del.icio.us was one of the first major sites to go this route, although they currently own and use delicious.com now, so maybe it wasn’t that big of a hit.  Other more minor websites are using this practice however.

The URL shortener service that I use is tr.im which I have known as "tee-are-dot-eye-em" since I started using it, but if you pay enough attention, you’ll notice that if you ignore the period, it spells trim. If enough people and websites catch on, the tactic could grow enough to be used by a full-sized major corporation. 

A full list of currently available TLDs can be found here.  See if any of those would match up with the ending letters of a name or title that you might want, and then look into how to get such a domain name registered.  Since most of those are for other countries, the rules and fees might vary a lot.

As a father certain things are more important to me than other people.  For example, when is the time of summer when butterflies are most plentiful?

My daughter loves butterflies, but they are pretty hard to come by on demand most of the year.  However, the Denver Botanic Gardens attracts them in droves thanks to their array of plants and flowers.  But, when there aren’t any butterflies around, it doesn’t matter what kind of plants you have.

A dozen Google searches later and I’m still no closer to finding out when the peak season for butterflies is in Denver.  (Just FYI, I do know about the Butterfly Pavilions in Broomfield, CO and yes, she loves it there too, but the Botanic Gardens are closer, bigger, and outside which is what I was shooting for today.)

A .org site search lead me to the North American Butterfly Association which has the domain NABA.org so I’m guessing their pretty legit.  Still, no quick answers, but at least I finally have some usable links.

Thanks to commenter Lisa another parenting blog writer who shot me a link to a Denver Post article that says:

The butterfly season in Colorado is generally May to October.

Even better is this more recent article which says:

Summer and early fall are the peak seasons for butterflies.

Well, there you go.  Went to the Botanic Gardens too early.  No problem, we’re members so we’ll go again later.  I just won’t promise butterflies again until August or September.

Baby monitors are a great addition to the parenting tools arsenal. Not only do they extend the range in which a parent can operate without worrying about being unable to hear a crying baby or toddler, but they can also give wonderful insight into another corner of baby’s life. With video monitors, parents can even determine if baby seems physically comfortable or investigate unfamiliar sounds or responses from their little ones. On the other hand, monitors can lead to sleep problems caused by overactive response to baby’s signals.

Without a baby monitor, a child must make sounds which are are above a certain threshold of loudness to be heard. With a baby monitor that threshold can be much lower. This is important because in order to both sleep through the night, and take naps of an appropriate length, babies need to learn to how to wake up, notice their environment, and then drift back to sleep. Doing so requires the ability to reassure oneself that everything is fine and that returning to sleep is the proper course of action. Experts refer to this as self-soothing.

Sleep Cycles For Mom, Dad, and Baby

Sleep experts say that as adults we do the same thing. For an adult, the average sleep cycle from Stage 1 sleep through the end of Stage 4 sleep takes approximately 90 minutes. At the end of this cycle, an adult rouses for a minute or two to ascertain their environment to assure that there is no trouble at hand. It is during this time that covers are pulled up, or kicked off, and one rolls over or otherwise changes position. It is also during this time, that we notice the need to visit the restroom (which will become important to your child later as well.)

The key to this whole process however is being able to make the determination for oneself that everything is O.K.

Being inexperienced in this process, newborn babies will instinctively cry out upon waking without noticing their environment at all. This makes sense considering they are in no position to evaluate it, and they most likely need to eat anyway. However, as baby gets older, they develop self-soothing skills and, like their parents, roll over and go back to sleep instead of crying out for Mom or Dad.

Developing this skill does require some practice. That practice comes in the form of making sounds and noises and calls to Mom and Dad which are not loud enough to be heard and therefore are not responded to. But, with a baby monitor, every sound can be heard. A parent who responds to even these lower sounds will prevent baby from developing the skills needed.

To avoid this, be sure to respond to baby based upon only what you can observe WITHOUT the monitor. One useful tip is to use the baby room monitor to determine when it is time to settle into a position and activity where one can hear baby’s activities without the aid of the monitor and then turn the monitor off. Using this technique, parents can avoid swooping into baby’s room too quickly and prolonging the period of time during which baby does not sleep through the night, or wakes up at every sound without getting enough sleep during naps.

As always, while technology can make parenting easier and more satisfying, it should never take the place of unassisted parenting.

As a kid you like to eat Lucky Charms.

As an adult you think Lucky Charms are a lame flavorless ceral that having marshmallows can’t make up for.

As a dad, you pour your daughter a bowl of Lucky Charms, pick out a handful of the kibble and toss it in your mouth so that the ratio of kibble to marshmallows is a little bit better.

Being a dad…I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You may have heard of the recall of several types of children’s cold medicines not too long ago.  You may have even been scared that such dangerous medicine was ever available.  What you might not know, is that the medicines were not dangerous at all.  The problem was parents overdosing their children without even knowing it.

Baby Medicine vs. Toddler Medicine vs. Adult Medicine

The key to all of the confusion is the way over the counter medications are produced.  For an adult, Tylenol, for example, comes in several pill formats.  Each pill contains a certain amount of acetaminophen, typically 325mg for Regular Strength Tylenol or 500 mg for Extra Strength Tylenol.  As an adult, you swallow the pill with some water; no big deal.

For toddlers, asking them to swallow a pill with water is a little too much.  Their small throats plus lessor control over both their swallowing and gag reflex makes standard pills a choking problem waiting to happen instead of helpful medicine on the way.  Instead, toddler formulas of Tylenol, typically called Children’s Tylenol, are a liquid.  The liquid contains 160 mg of acetaminophen in 5 ml of liquid, which equals 1 teaspoon.  In other words, there is approximately 1/2 dose of adult Tylenol in each teaspoon of Children’s Tylenol.  If you give your child two teaspoons of Children’s Tylenol, it is the same thing as giving them one Regular Strength Tylenol pill.

For babies, pills are of course out of the question.  But, babies also can’t be expected to take a lot of liquid either.  So, in Infants’ Tylenol Drops, there is 80 mg for every 0.8 ml.  In other words, there is 100 mg of acetaminophen in every 1 ml of Infant Tylenol.  Another way to put it is that in the same 5 mL that dosage that Children’s Tylenol uses to provide just 160 mg of medicine, there is 500 mg of acetaminophen, which is the equivalent of one whole adult extra strength dosage.

So, what’s the problem?

There isn’t one, as long as you measure correctly and accurately.  But, if you think “close enough” as you measure out a teaspoon of medicine for your child, you might be causing a big problem.

This is exactly what was happening with those children’s cold medicines that got recalled.  Parents who either lost the measuring cup from last time, or those who weren’t precise about their measurements were giving their children “just a little bit” over the proper dosage.  However, as you can see above, just a little bit makes a huge difference in the more concentrated infant formulas.  Even worse, since babies have small bodies, each extra bit counts for a high percentage of total body weight.  So, when a baby that was supposed to get EXACTLY 2 mL got APPROXIMATELY 2 mL, they got the equivalent of 1 3/4 doses or maybe even 2 doses.  Couple that with a parent impatient to wait the full amount of time in between dosages and you have a recipe for a big overdose of cold medicine, so rather than run the risk, the FDA pulled these types of medications.

Medical Measuring Syringes Used For Baby and Toddler Medications

The good news is that you aren’t really missing out on anything.  Most pediatricians recommend against giving babies or toddlers medicines with multiple ingredients like most cold medicines.  The bad news is that even with something like Children’s Tylenol or Children’s Motrin, you still want to be very precise with your measurements.  Since babies and even some toddlers aren’t all that good at making sure everything in the little cup ends up in their mouth, you need something better.

If you get a prescription medication for your baby or toddler, the pharmacy will include a little oral delivery syringe with the medication to measure it with.  These syringes are made of a clear-ish plastic and marked on the side with amounts indicating how much liquid is held in the syringe at each level.

The syringe works by placing the tip into the liquid and then drawing back the plunger.  This sucks up the liquid medicine.  Then, using the lines on the side of the syringe, you can push the plunger back down squirting the liquid back into the container until you have EXACTLY the right measurement.  Place the tip inside baby’s mouth and slowly press down on the plunger.  This ensures that all of the medicine ends up helping the baby, and none of it ends up on his face.  It also ensures that she does not get any extra medication.

But, what if you don’t have a prescription and you need to give some Tylenol or Motrin (ibuprofen) to your baby or toddler?  The syringe is still the best way to go.  You can buy them as some pharmacies like Wal-greens or Rite Aid.  However, you can get them for FREE at your local Target store.  I found this out after wandering through the over the counter medicine area looking for children’s dosing syringes to buy and couldn’t find any.  When I asked the pharmacist, he wandered over to an area behind the counter and came back with two syringes!

Tips For Giving Baby Medicine

By now, you know that the only way to give a baby medicine and do it right is with a medical syringe.  Make sure you have some on hand, because you never know when a 2:00 AM trip to 7-11 to buy Children’s Motrin is coming.

Here are some other tips for giving babies and toddlers medicine.

• Aim the syringe so that it squirts into baby’s cheek and not directly into their throat, otherwise they might choke.
• For older children, press the syringe slowly and steadily and they will instinctively drink from it like a bottle.
• Replace your syringes every couple of months.  Drop by a Target store and get new ones.  Do it while you are filling a prescription (yours or anyone’s) to make it twice as nice, since they certainly have no trouble giving them out to paying customers.  (I’ve never had a request refused, nor gotten even the slightest bit of attitude about it, but you never know.)
• Clean your syringes after every use and leave the parts unassembled on a plate to dry out.
• Throw away syringes after a bout of illness is complete.  No sense keeping something around with germs on it to re-infect baby.

Make sure you use a baby syringe and follow your pediatrician’s guidelines about dosing.  Generally, dosing based on weight is better than based on age, so make sure you ask about both Children’s Tylenol and Children’s Motrin at your next visit.

Parenting, Children’s Tylenol, Children’s Motrin, Baby Medicine, Toddler Medicine

Does your baby or toddler seem to love new toys much more than other toys?  Congratulations, an attraction to novelty is a sign of intelligence.  However, buying new toys all of the time is a recipe for losing money, lower savings, and too many toys for too little space.

The answer might lie in a quirk of child memory.

The brain’s memory power isn’t fully present at birth.  And, baby’s memory power doesn’t develop all at once either.  Instead, like most other higher level brain functions, your child’s memory comes online after birth, and it does so in phases.

Early memory is based upon recognition.  In other words, when your child sees a balloon, that triggers the memory of balloons.  However, a baby or young toddler does not have the ability to pull up memories on demand.  In other words, your child won’t remember balloons until something triggers that memory, whether balloons themselves, or something that reminds them of balloons like a birthday hat, or a certain tablecloth, or t-shirt.

You can use this memory quirk to create “new” toys out of old toys.  Hide some of your child’s toys somewhere where they won’t come across them.  A box in your closet, or a cabinet that they don’t open or play with are good locations to stash some toys.  Keep them there for 6 weeks or so.

After 6 weeks, pull the toys out and place them somewhere where your little one will discover them, like in their toybox.  Watch your child’s face light up when they find their “new” toy.  It isn’t that they don’t recall having played with the toy before, they do.  But, the experience that they remember won’t seem as fresh, or novel, and so, playing with the rediscovered toy will be a big treat.

Be smart about how you go about this.  Don’t hide the current favorites.  Instead, dig down to the bottom of the toybox or to the back of the closet.  These are the toys to hide. As an added bonus, you’ll get more room to store the current toys.  Also, make sure that any “linked” toys are either out or put away together.

For example, if you baby girl always plays with a certain doll and a certain car together, don’t put just one of them away, because inevitably, she’ll find one of them and then want the other.

Another useful tip is to have a pre-storage location that is easily accessible.  That way, if a certain toy gets requested, you can find it right away without having to dig into a storage bin.  Once the toy has been out of sight and mind for a few days, you can safely move it to the longer term storage location.

This way, you can keep that spark of newness alive for both fun and your baby’s brain development, without having to break the bank buying new toys all of the time.

As a parent, sooner or later your baby won’t sleep.  No matter how go-with-your-gut you have been up to this point, the baby that doesn’t sleep enough will drive you to a book, magazine, or website to find out both what you should do, and how worried you should be.

When you get there you will be alarmed to find out that a baby should be getting 12 to 16 hours of sleep and your precious one is barely scraping by on 9 or 10 hours of sleep.  You’ll want answers, a really great tip or trick that will help solve the problem of getting a baby to sleep properly.  You won’t find one.

Babies decide for themselves when the do and do not sleep.  In fact, at this age more than at any other, they will take care care of their sleeping just fine by themselves, nodding off in a loud room or crowded restaraunt with ease.

But, for a frazzled parent trying to do what is right for their baby, and who is trying to put together some sort of semblance of a life around baby’s sleeping schedule, getting baby to sleep at the “right” times is crucial.

Alas, the only advice will come in the form of not-so-helpful concepts like establishing a bed time routine, giving baby a warm bath, swaddling, or doing a certain kind of hold.  All of these things can and will work to some extent, but none of them help for the baby who gets two inches from the mattress before waking up, or for the baby who goes to sleep only to wake up just 10 minutes later.

At times like these, you’ll decide the problem is noise, either too much noise, or not enough noise.  Either way, its time to start looking at white noise machines or baby sound machines.  The only catch is, they suck, all of them.

Air Purifyier As White Noise Generator

Sometimes it is better to be lucky than good.  The summer before our baby was born, we kept a dog in our home.  My wife has kind-of-sort-of allergies to certain pets, including dogs.  To help, we got a Roomba and an air purifyier.  (More on the Roomba later.)

The Air Purifier is nothing special, just a little Holmes Air Purifier unit for use in one room.  We put it in our bedroom and ran it day and night, and my wife slept fine, the dog allergens kept at bay by the filter.

By the time our baby was born, it had been relegated to the floor in a back office.  But, when our precious little girl suddenly went from sleeping easily all the time she needed to being woken up at the slightest sound, we went researching.  We even called our pediatrician’s office, who having heard this a million times before, suggested we put a fan in her room

We didn’t have a fan that I liked the idea of putting in her room, but I remember sleeping like a baby while the air purifier ran.

We tried it first on low, with no success, and then on medium.  It worked like a champ.  As a double bonus, she has clean(er) air in her room too!

The best part is that I didn’t have to be frustrated by buying and returning a dozen white noise machines or gentle nature sound machines that wouldn’t turn up loud enough, or didn’t make the right kinds of sounds, or that cost $200. 

My simple $50 air purifier worked for everyone.